I really need your thoughts and comments on this one. I will do my best to describe our situation. We are seriously figuring out whether to have momma stay at home instead of working and I want to get any opinions from others who may have done it.
My salary is roughly enough that we can afford to make ends meet so to speak. But we have been using her salary to pay down the debt and continue the snowball effect at the rate we were. But what I realized the other day is that our expenses of her working are continuing to rise and I don’t think it fiscally makes sense any more.
Here’s the deal…
By keeping the kiddo out of daycare, we would save about 4500 dollars off the top. By her not driving to work every day (20 miles away) we would save about 100 dollars a week in gas and about 500 a year in vehicle maintenance costs. Add to that the 3000 less a year in taxes we would owe from just being taxed on my income. Then is the kicker, our child is not only very high needs, but has a very weak immune system and is sick (fever, etc) once a week. Therefore we end up at the doctors office about 4 times a month which costs about 100 bucks minimum a pop with the lab tests. By staying home with mom, he would surely still get sick occasionally but he wouldn’t be exposed to the cesspool of communal diseases at the day care. Since the health care industry has gone to hell, our insurance is now an HSA which means we pay the first 6k out of pocket before insurance even does anything.
So to tally that up:
$4500 Daycare
$5500 Gas (100×50 weeks of the year)(2 weeks off) and maintenance
$3000 Less taxes to pay
$4800 Cost of DR. Visits
________
$17,800 Total cost of her working
After doing up a spreadsheet with the scenario and running it out until January 2010, it seems feasible.
It would just give us enough to continue to make our snowball continue on and keep our debt reduction efforts going without changing too much. It would require that we become extra frugal and watch every penny (more than we do now).
But the plus side is that mommy will be able to be at home and raise our child and not be running on the verge of a mental/physical breakdown herself. Plus, if we ever had infant #2 come along, the plan is sort of set in motion already to accommodate it.
Anyway, we haven’t made any decision yet, but I would love to hear your comments or experiences with this yourselves. This is not a decision we take lightly, and as you can tell, I have already spent dozens of hours analyzing scenarios.
Thanks in advance!
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Can we afford to live on one income? No. Do we do it? Yes. It’s a sacrifice, but one I believe is well worth it.
We have none of the vacations or fancy things that our friends have, but that’s ok.
The way I figure it, if I went to work, after the costs I would bring home next to nothing. So basically I’d be working for the privilege of having a stranger raise my children.
I babysit for friends who both work full time and I see what a balancing act it is for them to get their kids where they need to be.
I have the babysitting and my HGP business and I try to be as thrifty as possible, but I’m home with the kids and we get by, sort of!! lol
Just wanted to give you some other information that you may have overlooked! I have been a SAHM for 2 years now. We thought it would never happen, but we were able to do it.
But, I wanted to point out some things that you may have missed! When I decided to stay home, I cut out more expenses than you are thinking about. I was home all day, so therefor, there was no temptation to go out to lunch with co-workers, I was able to cut out my morning coffee that I bought on my way to work. I am able to cook more, so there are no more spontaneous dinners out, becuase I was too tired to cook.
Plus, I was able to grocery shop more effectively once I was home. I have the time to look over the sales flyers and plan our meals accordingly. Our grocery bill dropped from $140 to between $60 – $80 a week. That was a HUGE savings for us!
Hopefully, you can make it work for you. You really do save much more than you think you will if you put your mind to the savings while your home! Plus, the kids are only young once, if one of you can stay home with them, you’ll never regret it!
I say as long as you can cover the basics ad you have a baby emergency fund of at least $1000 then have her quit. She can always go back to work if it doesn’t work out. The trade of time with your children is worth it’s weight in gold.
Try reading The Tightwad Gazzette, she has thousands of was to save, it is an easy and good read. Good luck, you all will do fine.
Can you afford it? Lets look at all the angles.
Are you the keep up with the Jones type? IF so then you probably won’t be happy on your one income. Do you vacation or go out frequently? IF so then you probably can’t afford it. IS your wife into nail salons and expensive purses ? IF so, she won’t be happy.
Before kids, I was all of those things. Once I stopped working I had to give it all up. It literally took me yrs to get used to it. I am happy now and wouldn’t go back to work it I had the choice. I literally can’t afford to work now.
Life is simple now, and I couldn’t care less about keeping up with the Jones or anybody else for that matter.
I lot depends on your personality and priorities. Thats just not really a question a stranger can answer for you. But for me it was well worth staying home.
Yes, it’s worth it! It may seem rough, but the satisfaction of raising your own child is priceless.
I think you are on track to keep Mom at home until the little one has better health. My question to you is, are you going to be able stop implusive buying? As the mother of 4, I stayed home 11 years and loved every minute of it. Good luck with your decision.
As of right now my husband and I are living off of his income, and it’s less than $40,000 a year. It is possible, but can be tough at times.
If you’re wife is willing to work at home there are tons of options.
Can you live on one income? Absolutely! The question is not can you live but rather, HOW do you live? You need to look around and realize that your current way of life may not mesh with your new roles. As many have said it means not keeping up with the Joneses, shopping the sale ads, giving up luxuries like manicures and new toys (for parents and kids), and overall discussing with each other all expenses that aren’t immediate needs. Being thrifty can take longer but your time is money. There are one income families in all walks of life, poor to rich. If people can do it on half of what you make, you can too. You just have to want to make it work.
We have lived on one income for over 4 years now. We must do it well. Many friends and family members assume we’re rolling in dough. This is far from true. We budget carefully. We only own two “bought new” pieces of furniture in a three bedroom home. We didn’t jump in to buying a house during the bubble. By now we have weaseled away enough to put a considerable sum toward the purchase of a house once the one of our dreams comes our way, so our payments will be low. If your wife enjoys shopping half as much as most of us she will know quality merchandise, take that knowledge to thrift stores, garage sales, and consignment shops when you need clothes, furniture, or household appliances. Most of all do your homework; read all the frugal blogs, read financial help books, know your needs from your wants.
In my opinion, most people don’t realize how easy it is to live on one income and fail to see the bigger opportunities for their families if they just rethought their lifestyles. I mean do you really need a new flat screen?
BTW: We were up to our eyeballs in debt, considering bankruptcy, with a kid on the way at the beginning of our journey. We haven’t just gotten by we have improved our stability through dedication.
Thank you for all the encouraging comments thus far. I hoped that I would hear such words of hope.
My wife has been bringing home hoards of frugal books for me to read (like I have time), so hopefully we can get even more inspired there. I will post up any good reads.
We are already living fairly frugally, ignoring the Jones’ so to speak to pay down the debt. This has worked well so far. My only real concern is that if money gets tight the first thing we are going to do is stop snowballing and snowflaking and get back into debt. I have my impulses under control now again and this would be the encouragement to really do things right.
I can’t thank you all enough for the words of encouragement so far!
We have always lived on only one income and that one income is only about $30,000 and we have 5 children. We can’t afford a lot of things, but it’s worth it to be home. We only get new things or do fun things if extra work comes up and we make more money. It’s just getting used to a new way of life.
If you really want to do it, than you can!
My DH hasn’t worked since 1997 and we now have 5 children. We figured out cost of daycare, his commute and working expenses really didn’t give us much more money. At that time, I was making more than he was so it became clear that I should continue working and he stayed home.
We’ve tried the swing shifts a couple times to bring down debt and it wasn’t worth it. We paid all of our debt down by just being extremely fugal and investing in my work future.
If you work at it, you can do it and let’s face it, the children will definately benefit.
You can definately do it! We’re a family of 5 living off of one income and we make it work-its tough sometimes, especially when unexpected expenses pop up, but we are slowly paying off debt and still do fun things, like go camping, go to ball games etc. You just have to learn to to be thrifty
Using cloth diapers, hanging clothes on the line, growing a small garden are just a few things you can do to save money-the little things add up fast! And your wife could look into donating plasma or babysitting to bring in some extra money.
It can definitely be done. We do it and, sometimes I am not sure how we do it, but we do. The key is to run the budget and get rid of all the unnecessary things. If you eat out, begin eating out less, or use the 2 for 1 coupons, etc. You learn to live more cheaply when you have to . . . buy used items instead of new when possible. Also, get rid of/sell anything you can too to help get rid of the debt.
Also, what does your wife do? Maybe she can work part-time form home. I am a tutor part-time and it gives us a little extra money. We do not figure that money in when setting our budget, so that is all money that goes to pat off debt or goes into savings (now that our debt is gone).
We do not make tons of money. My husband works in a ministry position which does not make tons. We live in the metro DC area (which is expensive), but we do it. We set a tight budget and we keep to it. I have never felt like we are “doing without” . I enjoy being home with the kids so much and I know that they are better for it.
Another thing too, if your wife does stay home, I strongly suggest her getting involved in a mom’s group or play group. Being a stay at home mom (at the beginning) can be very lonely. Being a part of a group and developing friends that stay home as well can be encouraging and helpful.
As far as your son’s health . . . you will be surprised at how little he will get sick if he is not in daycare. My first son rarely got sick and a friend of mime who had her son in day care was constantly leaving work because he was getting sick or had an ear infection.
Can we afford to live on one income? No. Can we afford to have mama home? Yes.
How does that work? Well, this mama runs a home daycare. This brings in a second income, not just grocery money, be a decent second income. I’m a mom of 4, and have been home the last 12 years. I’ve only worked one year out of my kids lives. I’ve tried part time jobs and it wasn’t worth it. We ended up with more debt in the time I didn’t have an income, in today’s economy, there just isn’t enough for our single income.
Now, we do without, only have used cars, we’ve never taken a trip, we don’t have alot of big ticket items. But I’m home for my kids. If they are sick, they can stay home. Not a problem. The sacrifice of home daycare comes with school, I’m not readily available to go on fieldtrips, etc. I’d like to more. But it’s not a big deal. I try to do a couple a year, and the kids are happy with that. The families understand.
So if you need a little extra to keep that snowball effect, consider watching a child, you’d know the rates of childcare in your area, so you can get a pretty good estimate of what she could earn taking a child or 2 in. We don’t get much of anything for illness here, I’m the weak immune here, and I have only gotten sick 2 times in the last 2 years. Lots and lots of handwashing, and cleaning toys keeps it under control.
Something to consider. It’s stated that most families are $400 away from keeping a parent home. I’d wager that to be pretty close for most.
Staying home with my little boy is worth so much more to me than anything money can buy!
Our family lives off of my husband’s income and we are very happy. We don’t have lots of fancy things but we have a happy little boy who gets my attention whenever he wants/needs it.
There are plenty of ways to save $$$ and it sounds like your wife is already thinking about many, frugal living books and such.
I think if your wife quits her current job and stays home with your little one you’ll all be the happier for it!
What about dry cleaning costs? What about food costs? By staying home she could make more from scratch and not buy so many convenience items or take out, etc. She would have time to do things like garden, hang laundry, etc.
How about a plan to quit before winter hits (cold season). So in the next 3 months what could you do to get ready for this? I would build up an EF of more than $1000. Are there any debts that could be paid off completely in that time that would help lighten the financial load? Good luck! I know it was a leap of faith when I decided to stay home 9 years ago. But it was worth it and we now have 4 kids and are still managing it on a teacher’s salary.
I am so interested in this, my husband and I are working on paying off some debts and increasing his salary so that I can stay home. It’s so encouraging to read all of these comments. What are some of the struggles that people have faced? Is there anything besides savings that everyone would recommend to prep for me to stay home? I know a few other SAHM in my area, so I would be able to start a group or have get togethers-for adult interaction once in awhile. We are very eager to make this happen. I think setting a “goal date” is a terrific idea. I enjoy working in the corporate world, but there is nowhere I’d rather be than home caring for my family. I will sacrific whatever I need to.
I didn’t read all the posts, so forgive me if this is repeated.
I am a SAHM, therefore we do live off one income, obviously. We are also paying off my DH’s student loans. Its not always easy, but its worth it, and I honestly don’t feel hard done by.
I don’t have personal advice about how to switch as I have always been a SAHM, but I wanted to tell you about Joni McCoy’s books. She also has a website http://www.miserlymoms.com (no, not misery! miserLy!) Her books detail how she went from a high paying job to SAHM while maintaing much of her lifestyle. I have read all 3 and LOVE them. They are helpful to anyone needing to save $. They are “Miserly moms” “miserly meals” and “frugal families”. Enjoy!
I became a stay-at-home mom a year ago, and let me say, it is SO WORTH IT!
I had my share of reservations, but, as many of the previous posters have said, once you do the math, you realize you’re working for practically free.
Here’s what we did. We spent some time living solely on DH’s income while I still worked. We took my salary and threw it at our debt. We got all of it paid off except the house, then we started building our emergency fund. When I finally quit, we were glad we didn’t have to worry about the debt and prepping for emergencies.
I don’t see my job as a SAHM as just raising the kids and running the house… I see it as my job to SAVE money and to make my hubby’s salary STRETCH as far as it can go (which is a challenge with three kids!)
Keep reading those books! You can do it!
and for more tips, you can check out frugalvillage.com! I love that site!
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